The economy is so bad that.....
I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the
counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call
them and ask if they meant you or them.
Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
McDonald's is selling the quarter ouncer.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and are learning their children's names.
Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
The Mafia is laying off judges.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
Congress says they are looking into this Bernie Madoff scandal. Oh
Great!! The guy who made $50-Billion disappear is
being investigated by the people who made $1.5-Trillion disappear!
And, finally... I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy,
wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I
called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.